


Drinks with Phil

by Dolimir



Category: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer (Marvel Short Film), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: Coffee klatches between Phil Coulson and Pepper Potts





	1. After Ironman

“I must admit, there was a small part of me semi-expecting you to give me a recruiting spiel.”

Phil looked up from his Chestnut Praline Frappuccino Blended Crème and gave her a mildly amused smile. “Would you like to give me to give you the recruiting spiel?”

Pepper’s eyes widened in consternation. “No. I’m very happy with Mr. Stark.”

“But?”

“No, buts. It’s just that one of you agents told me he thought I’d be an asset to SHIELD.”

“You are an asset to SHIELD.”

“How so?”

“You manage to keep him semi-grounded.”

Pepper smiled and shook her head. “I’m not doing that for SHIELD.”

“True, but we still benefit from you actions. Can you imagine how much trouble he could cause if you weren’t around?”

Sobering, Pepper nodded once, then looked immediately guilty. 

“Now, if you ever do make the decision to leave him, I could offer you a compensation package that would leave you breathless.”

Pepper smirked. While she had no intention of leaving Tony, despite the recent debacle, it was nice to know she wasn’t completely without options. However, there was no way SHIELD could ever pay better than Tony did.  
“However,” Phil continued, “in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that we don’t give Jimmy Choo bonuses.”

“Well, no job is perfect.”

“And you’d have to learn how to use a gun.”

“After this past month, I’m definitely open to the possibility.”


	2. After Ironman II

“So, what’s his name?”

Pepper made a production of slipping off her Jimmy Choos and resting her feet on top of them. When she finally look up, Phil was looking at her with an incredibly blank face.

“Oh, come on. I tell you way too much about my relationship with Tony. The least you can do is share.”

Phil blinked at her. 

She wondered briefly if she was witnessing some super-agent flight-or fight- response. 

“Phil, you talk a good game, but I live with Tony Stark. If I couldn’t read between the lines, I would have been kicked to the curb years ago.”

His eyebrow furled ever-so-slightly. 

“You talk about a cellist in Portland. You occasionally talk about her performances, but you never talk about her preferred pieces of music or how much she hates her conductor. While you’ve told me quite a bit about your trips around the world, you really don’t mention visiting the great Northwest.”

Phil opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again after breathing in deeply once. 

“In fact, you never voluntarily talk about her at all.”

Pepper nodded her thanks to the waiter as he set their martinis in front of them, but waited until he left to continue. 

“If I ask about her, you always have a few entertaining tidbits, but you’ve forgotten that I’ve work for Tony Stark for over ten years. He fills practically every silence with a torrent of words, but I’ve learned to listen to the quality of the silences and what isn’t said.”

Before he could speak, she started again. 

“We’re friends, right?”

His gaze lifted to meet hers and she saw his vulnerability. 

“I mean, I know that some of what I say goes back to SHIELD; but somewhere along the line, we became friends, right?

“I’d like to think so.”

“What you do talk to me about is your crazy subordinates. At first, I thought you had a whole squad of thrill seekers, but after a while I came to realize that the stories were about one agent. Well, one agent and a partner that both contributes to the madness, but also allows you to sleep.”

Phil snorted. “Sleep.”

“You haven’t told him…them.”

“Them?”

“Ah.” Pepper smiled knowingly. She reached for her glass and took a small sip.

“You’re scary.”

“And a part of you enjoys is.”

“I plead the fifth.”

Pepper toyed with her skewered olives. “So?”

Her question had a certain amount of iron to them. Phil stat back in his seat and openly studied her. She wasn’t’ as defenseless as Fury believed her to be. SHIELD had crossed a line, she was letting him know that. But she had also gone out of her way to remind him that they were friends, not just passing acquaintances or contacts. 

“His name is Clint. He works for me.”

“And?” She raised a single eyebrow. 

“She also works for me.” He took a breath and released it slowly. 

“Natalie.” She said rather than asked. 

“Figured. Go on.”

“We suspected that Stark…that Tony was ill. We didn’t know how ill.”

“Was it your call?”

He shook his head. 

“But you didn’t feel the need to give me a head’s up?”

Phil could count the number of times he wasn’t overly proud to work for SHIELD on one hand, this was one of those time. 

“I understand,” Pepper said.

He looked at her in disbelief.

“He was spiraling out of control. No matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t let me close. He kept trying to push me away. He needed a slap upside the head.”

Her forgiveness felt like a benediction. “Thank you.”

“I’m going to miss Natalie. It is Natalie, isn’t it?”

“Natasha.”

“Close enough.” She shrugged. “She was the best assistant I ever had.” She ate one of her olives. “I don’t suppose she’s looking for a career change?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“Probably for the best. She did burn that bridge with Tony rather spectacularly.”

Phil nodded. 

“If Fury ever tries something like this again however…”

“I’m not sure I can promise…”

“Phil,” she interrupted. 

He waited for her to speak again. 

“Between Tony, Jarvis and I…”

“Enough said.”

They both took a sip of their drinks.

“I should have tried harder.”

Pepper smiled. “To recruit me.”

One side of his mouth lifted in a grin. “Yes.”

“Because I’m scary.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“And if I wanted to recruit you?”

He blinked at her in dismay. “Do you?”

“Yes, but I know you won’t let me.”

“True, but I’m flattered as hell though.”

“Just know I’m not taking it off the table. Any time you want out…”

“Thank you,” he whispered. He was shocked by how much he meant it. 

“Okay, so now that we got all that out of the way…” She leaned forward, her eyes filled with mischief. “Tell me about them.”

“What?”

“You didn’t think I was going to let that drop, did you?”

“Oh dear God.”


	3. After A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Thor's Hammer

“A bag of flour?”

The placid face before her twitched. While subdued amusement radiated from Phil’s blue eyes, the very tips of his ears reddened ever-so-slightly. 

“Well, it was the closest item I could reach.”

“And it had nothing to do with the spectacular visual of the bag exploding in the perpetrator’s face?”

Phil shrugged. “It was the closest item I could reach.”

Pepper giggled as she brought her latte to her lips. “How do you get yourself into these situations?”

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked that exact same question.”

“Does SHIELD cover flour usage in close quarters combat?”

“Not specifically, but they do teach agents how to use whatever’s on hand.” He lowered his cup, a small frown creasing his face. “What would you do if we were attacked right now?”

Pepper startled, then set her cup on the table. “Are we in danger?”

“No. But please, indulge me.”

“I take it screaming is out of the question?”

“On the contrary, bringing attention to you situation is a perfectly valid response.”

She smiled at his kind words. “Okay. I could also throw my coffee.”

“Good. While it’s probably not hot enough to do any real damage, even trained soldiers will flinch if you throw something in their face. What else?”

Pepper look at their table. “My spoon.”

“Go on.”

“The napkin dispenser.”

“And?”

“Oh! The salt and pepper.”

“Both will burn if they get into an attacker’s eyes. What else?”

“The container holding the sugar packets.”

“Good. While the ceramic will probably break after a couple of hits, it will give you a little extra boost. What else?”

Pepper’s eyes widened when she realized there wasn’t anything else at the table. 

Phil smiled gently. “Your chair. The table. The knickknacks on the wall. The potted plant in the corner. Anything you can lift is fair game.”

Pepper nodded thoughtfully. 

“When it comes to your safety, manners have no place. You use everything you can put your hands on. You fight as dirty as you have to in order to get away because chances are if you are removed from your environment…”

She swallowed hard, but nodded in understanding. 

“Stark, no doubt, has some sort of tracker on you?”

Her grin returned, even as she rolled her eyes. “Purse. Shoes.”

“Probably even some of your jewelry.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but Phil shook his head. 

“You’re associated with Tony Stark. That automatically makes you a target. Don’t live in fear, but don’t live in blissful ignorance either.”

She finally nodded when she saw the true concern in her eyes. “So you’re saying that keeping a bag of flour on hand is probably a good idea?”

A small grin teased the corners of his mouth. “It couldn’t hurt.”


	4. After Avengers

They had no sooner gotten into the cab when Pepper turned and looked at him with a serious face. “You’re going to have to apologize to Jarvis.”

Phil blinked at her in confusion, the only indication she had that he was processing what she said. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her. 

“Because you overrode him in order to gain access to the penthouse.”

“I had to see Mr. Stark.”

“And Jarvis didn’t let you in. I understand. But if you don’t do it right away, the next time you come over, I guarantee it’s going to take you ten times longer to reach your desired floor.”

“Seriously?”

“As a heart attack.”

Apologizing to an A.I. How was this his life?


	5. After Ironman III

“If anyone can find a cure, it’ll be Stark.”

Phil looked up at Melinda May and nodded once. 

“In the meantime, should we put her on the…”

“No.”

“Phil.”

“No. She will never be on the list.”

May opened her mouth to protest, but stopped when she saw the look on his face. She nodded once and backed out of the room, pretending she didn’t see his fingers rest reverently over the video of Pepper Potts smacking Aldrich Killian into the next county.


End file.
